Tuesday, August 29, 2006

stress city...

YIKES! I didn't really except to be this stressed this early on in the year! The school calendar has yet to begin, yet I am feeling an unusual amount of stress. It started yesterday on my first official day of reporting to school...

I went to bed on Sunday night and had my outfit all picked out and ready to go...lunch packed...water bottle in the fridge...I got into bed and before I knew it, I was OUT! That's good and bad...good in the sense that I didn't lay awake thinking about school or all that had to be done...but bad because I forgot one small detail for the day...setting my alarm! AHHH! I fell asleep with no alarm set...thank GOODNESS that my roommate's alarm went off only 15 minutes after when I was SUPPOSED to get up...luckily I had enough time to take a quick shower, run around getting ready, and then head out the door to make it to school on time! Ok...so one obstacle down.

I get to school and my room was looking pretty good...everything was in it's own place...nice, neat little stacks around the room, easily to get to. I got there around 7:45 and didn't walk out of the building until nearly 7 pm. SICK! I spent every hour busy doing something...from meetings, to cleaning, to arranging and rearranging, to cutting, gluing, typing, copying...oh the list goes on! It was crazy. I left on Monday night with a list a mile long of things that need to be done and a room that looked like it was hit by a tornado!

This morning I got to school and had a good solid 3 hour chunk of time just to work in my room...I figured I'd get most everything done and be out of school on time, if not early, today...WRONG! I work straight from 8:00 until about 5:40...with only an hour "break" for a meeting on safety procedures and drills. There were a few moments throughout the day that I was just really NOT sure that it would all get done...but once again my roommate, Megan, came to the rescue...she offered to come help me out...so with her in there helping for about an hour and a half, I left tonight feeling pretty good about all the jobs that needed to be done...

However, if that was not enough stress...add a handful of very skeptical, and perhaps even enraged parents and you get one overwhelmed person! I was notified from the principal, the assistant principal, and another person of three parents who have specifically talked to those authorities about their concerns for my position as first grade teacher...they feel that I am unqualified because of my lack of experience, and would even be bold enough to say that I may be a "BAD" teacher for their child. I can see where concern might be expected, but pre-judging me based on NO prior knowledge is really frustrating. They have no idea who I am, what I've done, and how I will contribute to the class...that sounds like I'm talking to myself...but I was well informed, today, that you have to be overly confident in this profession or they will tear you apart...I've also learned (in the last day or two) that you really have to let things slide off your shoulders and stand up tall or else you'll never survive. There will never be a PERFECT teacher for all the little angels that walk into the school...there will always be MORE that a teacher can do...always SOMETHING that can be different...but I've been encouraged to be confident in my abilities and to show them different from what they think. One parent went to the extreme of emailing the principal 7 times in less than 24 hours...calling several times, and waiting in the parking lot for the principal to leave so she could speak with her! WOW....

I'm glad I know all that...and everyone is on my side, and really saying flattering things about me...that all helps...but I am still extremely nervous for tomorrow...tomorrow is Open House! AHHH! It will be the first time the parents will see me, the first time the kids will see me...and while it is extremely informal and supposed to be a "light hearted" time of getting to know one another, I know I will be under the magnifying glass for many of the people that come in and out of my room tomorrow night. The next two days will be conferences with parents which will be ONE on ONE time for them to ask me questions...or DRILL me! It will be quite interesting!

Good thing I was able to spend some time with some of my very best friends tonight...it was very reassuring to be with them and to know of their support for me! See ya later stress...helloooooo new day!

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