Friday, August 18, 2006

well...here i sit...

Location: Cedar Ridge Elementary School
Task: Set up an entire classroom
Time Expectancy: WHO THE HECK KNOWS
Reward: A bunch of precious little kids...oh yeah, and a paycheck every other week:)

Well...here I sit...just me and an empty classroom. It's one of those "surreal" feelings because I have literally dreamt about this day since I was little. I mean honestly, for those of you who knew me as a little kid...don't you remember me always nagging Tony to play school...or setting up a fake dry erase board on my closet door...or making D.O.L (Daily Oral Language for those of you who don't remember) exercises...or even requesting an overhead for my birthday. And now....I have all of that. I have my own chalk board, I have my own overhead, I have pages upon pages of exercises and activities...its all sitting before me and I'm not exactly sure where to begin.

I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed the last few days realizing the amount of work that needs to go into this classroom in a very short amount of time...desk tags, locker tags, name badges, folders, cleaning, organizing, setting up, taking down, Open House, conferences...not to mention actually planning what I intend to teach the first few days! Wow! However up until now...I've always had someone holding my hand...walking by my side to assist me and watch over my every move...until right now...now, that has completely shifted. I had either a professor advising me, or friends giving me helpful ideas, or a teacher sharing expertise and now all of that is left in my hands to do with it what I please.

I have so many ideas...so many plans...so many hopes for this job that my brain can't even begin to process the "reality" of it all. It still feels somewhat like I am student teaching, or like I am going to be playing school. I have a list of at least 20 "urgent" things that need to be done in the next week and I can't decide where to start. I try to start a task, and easily get sidetracked with thoughts of something else that needs to be done! All that to say...this is FOR REAL! HOLY COW:)

No longer am I going to be playing or dreaming...but I am going to be living out that dream of mine...that kind of sounds sappy, but its honestly how I've been processing this whole experience so far. My dream will become a reality in a matter of 2 weeks...I am going to have 23 little bodies sitting in front of me, with eager anticipation, and nervous minds...and I am going to have the opportunity to share a little piece of their lives. Wow! Such an awesome responsibility!

But enough of the procrastinating (I know I work better under pressure...but I do need to accomplish SOMETHING today)...so I will leave you by saying THANK YOU for being a part of my life...each of you have played a huge role (in various ways) and I'm so excited to continue to share this new experience with you.

2 comments:

Stuart B said...

My mom was a teacher for a number of years...yeah, I definitely have a clue how insane life is going to be for you soon.

I'll be praying!

Tina said...

thanks! i appreciate it!!!