Friday, June 26, 2009

something about the swiveling of a fan...

It's 9:44 am.

I am on summer vacation.

I'm still wearing my glasses, and my hair is in a crazy nest of a mess.

Currently the windows are open and I can faintly hear the busy traffic that is in the world beyond the walls of my house.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of cold water that seems to be perspiring, leaving a tiny puddle beneath the cup.

Above me is the rotating ceiling fan that is gently pushing the cool air back and forth around my body.

There is something about the swiveling of the fan...there is a sense of calm, a sense of refreshment, a sense of renewal.

Recently a friend said to me, " you ever slow down?!" When I heard that, it actually made me take a huge step back and think about it. I love people, and doing things, going places, seeing new things. I definitely love it! But I also love the silence of sitting in my room alone with only the flickering of a candle. I love taking a bike ride or a run all alone, not having to talk to anyone.

I have never wanted to be the kind of person who is never able to step back and slow down. I know a lot of people who are on the go 24/7...and it totally works for them. I have never wanted that, though. For me, if I am like that, I picture a totally crazy, worn down, and not very fun person (I know, already sounds like me, right? :)) Kind of like this picture...

But, I always thought I was good and balancing the activities in my life with the quietness in my life. As of recently, I don't know if I have been doing that. I am on summer vacation and my calendar looks more busy NOW than it did during the school year. That's scary. I have been waking up no later than 8 most mornings, going to the gym, stopping at the beach to do some reading for class, visiting friends, nannying, going to class (5 hours a pop), the list goes on. I haven't been doing as much of the quiet reflection, spending time with God, slowing down, etc.

Today I was planning to get up at 8:30 (a whole half hour later than normal!), go to the gym, swing by the beach again, and then get ready for coffee with a friend and nannying for the rest of the day. But when I woke up this morning, I thought, "Nope...I am gonna slow down..." So I laid back down for a half hour, I slowly woke up, and here I am. It's not 10:05 and I have yet to do anything significant.

It's 10:05 am.

My feet are up.

My ice cold water is slowly disappearing.

The sun is slowly shinning into the front window.

The fan overhead is still rapidly moving.

There is something about the swiveling of that fan......

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